the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
