Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
