I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
