i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
