I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
