look no pants
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
