I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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