covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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