you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
