Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
