Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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