You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
