You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He passed out mid-signature
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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