Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
