omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
