I smell stomach acid.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
