Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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