we're blogging at a bar
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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