It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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