I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
