Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
