yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
