Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
there is glitter all over my balls
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