Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
