and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize