Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
