I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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