My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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