OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
...so i touched it.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
