I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
