Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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