Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
