someone owes me an orgasm
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
