And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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