well you can't waste a boner
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There's always time for handjobs
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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