Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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