bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
