If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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