Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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