New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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