do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
