apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I am spending my child support on dildos
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
What a dumb baby whore.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
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