Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
