I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize