the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just want to make out with him forever
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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