my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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