david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
