she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
