he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
