Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
