Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
