Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize