who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
